What makes parenting so difficult is that it matters so much! We know that what we do, and how we handle relationship with our children will have an effect on ourselves, our children and the world we live in. The same is true of course, for all relationship - work, romantic, friends etc. This is even true for our relationship with strangers.
How we handle relationship, is how we create our lives (individually) and the world we live in (collectively).
This is a beautiful (or terrible) thing depending on how we are handling relationship. The problem is that we tend to handle relationship REACTIVELY as a result of the conditioning we experienced as children and throughout our lives. We become victims of this conditioning, or rather we become victims to the decisions we have made about ourselves in relationship with this conditioning.
The fact is we have been affected by the relationships in our lives, and have made decisions about ourselves and life when we were very young, which remain "locked in" to our unconscious minds. These decisions colour our thinking, our reasonable mind, which is our tool for creating our lives. In the illusion of these decisions we can sometimes feel so powerless. Our challenge is to overcome or release, and rise above our conditioning. Our challenge is to re-create our thinking, and thus recreate the way we create our relationships; lives; the world we live in.
In truth, when we drop all the judgements and resentments about our past, some of our conditioning has taught us "what doesn't work", and some of it has taught us "what does work". Simple. Our challenge, especially with parenting, is to turn REACTIVE into CREATIVE.
Our children are our mirrors - the ones that push the most buttons are the ones who are most like us!
They are also the barometers who gauge and reflect exactly how we are currently handling ourselves and our relationships. They don't do this 'on purpose' - they are just being themselves. It is how human beings work together.
As we become aware of our conditioning (and all parents will experience this) through the way we react and respond to our children, we are given the opportunity to:
1. Examine our own conditioning.
2. Let go of ingrained beliefs by examining the core truth of those beliefs, getting the gut feel, the deep inner wisdom, the truth.
3. Be creative and find ways that work to interact with our different, unique children.
It has been said that it would only take 2 or 3 generations of children who have been appreciated, celebrated and encouraged to be all they can be, to totally transform this planet.
I love this planet - despite the terror, and horror and awfulness which the human race perpetuates on it and each other. I am not even saying it is necessary to change it - just possible, if we so desire. It starts with you and I. We are the only ones who can do it.
There is no prince charming/saviour/miraculous event coming to rescue us! We are it. We are it! We are the miracle we wait for. We are our own saviours, and we are 100% supported in this, and all of life, by the infinite power which guides all that is.
We are not required to understand this - a finite mind is not capable of understanding the infinite. We can accept the support in realising it though. And we can contemplate the infinite and experience some of it here, now.
We can change anything and everything simply by changing our thinking.