Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. Floating one for the Gipper. Dropping the kids off at the pool. No matter what euphemistic phrase you've given it, there's no better time to pick up a book than when you’re sitting on the toilet. In an age of e-books, text paging, and email, the bathroom has become the last haven for reading a real book; it is the library of the house. This book contains a collection of tried and true jokes, advice, and observations from my stand-up comedy performances and daily journal. Each twisted passage has been performed on stage in front of some spectacular audiences. Are you sitting down for this?