Volume 1 of Ben Macnair's hilarious Spoof News stories from 2007-2011, originally published on thespoof.com website.
Most of the stories in this book are concerned with British news and celebrities (you may not recognise some of the names but you'll certainly get the gist), but you'll find some hilarious U.S. and World news spoofs that will also have you in stitches.
Excerpt:
Talk of Library Closure Hushed up
A councillor in Epping was told to hush when the thought of shutting the local library was raised at a council meeting.
Mr Entitlement from the Council takes up the story. 'There I was, minding my own business, moving onto the next item on the agenda, which was about closing the library, when everyone said Shhhhuuuuussshhhhh. It was like they had planned it altogether. What next, if we propose shutting down the banks, will people get out guns and say this is a Stick up?'
Ms Blabbermouth from the Council said: 'We planned it as a joke, like, but Mr, sorry, Councillor Entitlement has never seen the funny side. He doesn't even laugh at the jokes in My Family. Is this the type of man we want representing our interests in Parliament?'
In a similar breaking story, a group of Teenagers, who were browsing books for believable facts, ie, not those found on the Internet where told to shush by a woman in slacks and owlish glasses. She did not even work there.
Is this your Staple? Pilot show wins award
A recently made Pilot episode has one a prestigious award. The BBC's 'Is this Your Staple?' won the Arts World's 'Old Picture in a New Frame' for its innovative use of recycled materials.
Mr Jedward Woodward from the Awards committee told us: 'With its way of selling the same crap to an audience that gratefully eats it, TV is a great thing to give this type of award to. It also gives a high visibility to the award, if we can get it recognised in such an epoch changing and ground breaking way as this'.
Mr Tony Blair won the award last year for his time as Prime Minister, and his way of selling old Conservative values under a New Labour banner.
Top TV show "The Hour" to return in half hour episodes
BBC ratings winner 'The Hour' which starred her from Atonement, him from the Wire, her from Four Wedding and a Funeral, and John Keats will return in half hour episodes in the Autumn.
Mr Repeats on me as well, from the august institution explained:
'We always go for quality, but, unfortunately, quality costs. We don't have advertisers, or football, or Simon Cowell to fall back on like ITV (other Television channels are also available) so we have to make sure our quality output can be easily watched and repeated across all of our entertainment platforms.
'We decided that we would repeat the Hour, but we felt the title, and the actual length of the show put people off. We will show it across a week with half hour slots, that way we can get a similar sized audience to many of the Soaps.
'If it works with The Hour, we also plan to do it too many of our older popular programmes. We at the BBC feel that it is about time that shows such as The House of Elliot, Howard's Way, and Monarch of the Glen were seen by a far bigger, and younger audience'.
Hit TV game show "Is this your paperclip?" to be replaced
Following the demise of 'Is this your Sheep?' the BBC has revealed that a similar game show is also on its last legs.
'Is this your Paperclip?' which is currently hosted by Dermot O'Leary will not have its contract renewed. The programme has been losing viewers at a steady rate, with more than 14 million tuning into the first episode. Now, it only has one viewer, Ms Hope Neville, who works on the show, and tunes in to see her name on the credits.
Ms Neville tells us: 'I am a big fan of the TV, and always wanted to work there, so it is always a thrill to see my name on the credits. My parents were also big fans of the TV, they named me after a character in Auf Weidersen Pet, so I always liked TV. I have the credits on a loop. It is on my Mobile Phone, I show it to complete strangers. I have spent a few rough nights in Police Cells, but one time, 14 million people watched what I do'
Ms Neville's job was to look after the stock of Paperclips. The game never changed. Paperclips always look the same, and if the contestant chose one that looked different, then they were disqualified.
Mr Scapegoat from the BBC said: 'We are always trying to push back the boundaries of what is acceptable. It would appear that this show wasn't suitable for a wide ranging audience. We can only apologise. It won't happen again, at least until the next time'.
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