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De Facto Divorce by Val Hamann
Free ebook: Christian

Category: Religion and Beliefs - Religious Books
Standard Copyright
Ebook Format: PDF
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De Facto Divorce by Val Hamann
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Ebook Synopsis

I have written this book for people that have been hurt by the devastation of divorce, the pain experienced from the loss of a spouse, singles that have come out of past bad relationships and for spouses to work on their marriage. You cannot enter into a relationship while you are still hurting, two hurting people cannot heal each other, you need to be whole – and while people say ‘time’ is a great healer, I believe that only our loving Jesus is.

A rose is planted in soil and a fish swims in water. Both have elements in them, of the thing they are rooted in. The rose has the same elements as the soil it is planted in, the fish has the same elements as the water it swims in. We need to be rooted in Christ. If you remove the rose from the soil, it will die. If you remove the fish from the water, it will die. In the same way, if you remove yourself from Christ, you will die!

I have created the logo as a teardrop of colour, because I believe that there is a rainbow in every tear, when Jesus is near.

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In a perfect world, there would be no divorce. There would also be no abortions, no rape, no crime, no poverty and then of course, no need for a Saviour. But we all know this is not a perfect world, we are all imperfect creatures, desperately in need of perfect forgiveness. I have never met a divorced person who intended to be so. I have never met a bride or groom who did not intend for their marriage to last for a lifetime.

But, in our imperfect world, marriages unfortunately do end up in divorce. The accompanying pain and emotional trauma are not limited only to the two parties of the divorce. Children, extended family members, friends and church congregation feel their own pain and experience their own trauma. Debating whether divorce is morally right or wrong, in all or limited circumstances, may be fruitful at times to lift our sights towards a higher ground. But, in this instance we will focus our attention on how we might respond to one another in light of the reality of divorce.

Who are the divorced people amoung us? Are they really the single parents who find themselves separated from the financial resources and emotional support they once shared with a spouse? Or are they the ones who slowly absent themselves from the circles of couples that dominate our church’s life? Perhaps the divorced are more hidden than that. Perhaps they are remarried and speak to few of us about their past. Perhaps they lift the communion cup and pray with us from the pulpit, perhaps they teach our Sunday school or sit next to us in the pew?

The divorced person might very well be the one we eye in each morning’s mirror. We might be the one who knows from first hand experience the pain or relief of divorce. Or we might just as likely be the friend who has become divorced from a friendship that depended on the ‘foursome’ to survive. We might in fact be divorced from the whole issue of divorce. We may find ourselves more likely to condemn, not because we are merely judgemental but more like because we have not experienced this pain.

Divorce is never easy, no matter how old, how mature or how rational it’s participants. If we all want to share in the ministry of Christ, we must find a way to share in the difficulties of those who face life beyond divorce. Who’s really divorced? Perhaps it is we who separate ourselves from the difficulties others experience of divorce, perhaps we are the one’s in need of reconciliation.

When you are divorced and you see yourself in the mirror, it does not matter what others think or say of you, but what you believe of yourself that matters. More importantly, it is what God thinks of you that matters most. When someone dies, we know how to surround the survivors with love and comfort. We do not react to divorce in the same way. It is very unusual for someone to visit or bring food to someone experiencing divorce.

Unfortunately, we do not know what to do, so we choose to do nothing. What we are communicating to them is we are judging them or we simply don’t care. From the standpoint of the church, divorced people are an intriguing and challenged group to try and serve. Their lack of church involvement may make them appear to be alienated or hostile. But in their private practices, frequent bible reading, regular television Christian programs and dedication to praying, show that they are far from being a ‘lost cause.’

God says: My promises can be trusted, I am not a man that I might lie. I not only forgive you, I promise to be with you always, so you will never be alone. I will never leave you. You no longer need your self-serving independence, I will heal your pride. I will free you from all the destructive patterns that bind you. I promise to fill your heart with love and gifts of peace and courage. I will place in you a passion for sharing my love in service to others, you are precious to me and I will heal you. I will give you hope to overcome any discouragement.