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Lord of the Garden. By Adrian Pelzer
Free ebook: short stories

Genre/Category: Short Stories
Downloads: PDF  245   ePub  50

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Lord of the Garden - Adrian Pelzer
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Ebook Synopsis

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'This is a humorous short story compilation (Volume 1 in a series called The Bible for Aliens) that looks to transport the context of familiar Bible stories into our current culture.  It also imagines the context of Bible stories in relation to well-known movies and books, such as Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Life of Pi, and Crime and Punishment. Readers will be delighted, amused, and provoked in their thinking.


Adam’s alarm clock went off and he turned over in his sleep, mumbling something about a rabbit and a hippo—he’d had a late night naming the animals and was trying to catch up on sleep. So, he turned on his bed as a door turns on its hinges when he realized with a start that one of his ribs was conspicuously absent and that someone was conspicuously present—a being like himself but distinctly lacking in body hair and bulging muscles. He touched her gently and she awoke with a start, her eyes turning directly on him. Adam looked into the face of another human being for the first time and their eyes fixed on each other; he moved his face closer to hers, noticing her exquisite features and her hair blowing lightly in the warm breeze. The following words are recorded as the first romantic poetry ever spoken by a man to a woman:

“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.”

So Adam and his new wife fell deeply in love with each other and were inseparable wherever they went. The animals, who had previously had all of Adam’s attention, were perhaps a bit jealous but understood full well, since all of them had their own mates; back then, animals understood more than they do now, though they could still not be said to understand the way people do. Adam and Eve—as she was later named (and for the sake of clarity, we will refer to her as Eve in this account)—moved into Adam’s place, which happened to be the lush, tropical Garden of Eden. The trees were a roof over their heads, the animals their pets, the fruit on the trees their fridge. They had peace with each other, all the animals, and God. They were tree huggers, animal lovers, and vegetarians; they had killer green curry and tofu stir fry in coconut sauce; they also had delectable black bean sauce as well as mango chutney. The fruit and vegetables were the original superfoods, high in protein and better tasting than tenderloin filet. Adam spent his work days farming, a job which gave him energy—the harder he worked, the more energy he had to work more. Eve helped out with the farming and also took care of the trees and tended the flowers. Life was perfect.