I believe autobiographies include too much information, so I’ve made mine very abbreviated. I see no need to include all the big and little happenings that have marked my journey from the birthing table to the present moment. Nor is there a need to convey the highlights, or even a brief summary.
To really understand me, or anyone else, I think it’s best to start with conception and continue to birth. Those nine months are when the foundation is laid for entry into this world. Understanding that foundation helps one to understand me, or anybody else. What happens after birth is really not that important.
Gestation doesn’t cover much of a time span, so this is a short book of only about 13,000 words. It can be conquered very quickly, probably in about as much time as it takes to run down to the drugstore and buy a stockpile of contraceptives. Here are a few of those 13,000 words, from the Introduction:
Excerpt from The Birth of Tippy Gnu:
There I was with all these other spirits, laughing, kicking it, just having a good time. Then the thrill vibe hit us. That’s the vibe that comes from the physical world, when we sense some other creatures are having a good time.
If you know what I mean.
It drew us like mosquitoes to a hemophiliac. The thrill vibe is always a draw. It’s a vibe of fun, joy, and delight. It is life itself. Life is what we spirits thrive on. Life is our food. We must have life if we are to have, well, life.
It was a couple of humans humping and moaning away, really going at it. The thrill vibe can come from any creatures getting it on. But I liked the human thrill vibe the most. That’s because I was a real twisted ****.
Humans are the stupidest of all the creatures in the physical realm. And yet they’re also the smartest. Humans are just really messed up. Like me. If I had been more mature and developed spiritually, and had not allowed myself to degenerate so badly, the human vibe would not have been my thing. I’d have gone for the rodent vibe, or worm vibe, or, if I was among the most advanced, maybe the bacteria or virus vibe.
One of the stupidest and most biased of human beliefs is that we reincarnate into more and more advanced creatures, in the physical realm, until we finally enjoy the rare opportunity of becoming human. It’s supposedly the pinnacle of reincarnative achievement, according to some gurus and other illuminati.
But think about it. The math won’t allow it. Consider how many bacteria, plants, insects, and animals populate this world. It’s one hell of a lot more than humans, by an astronomical amount. If they were all advancing toward human life, planet Earth would soon be overwhelmed. It would not be able to sustain the vast numbers of new people being born.
Here’s the real truth. We use the physical realm as a kind of school. We must face many dilemmas in the physical realm, and from these we learn many lessons that help us to develop spiritually.
Some dunderheads have to go to remedial education. And so we’re born as more advanced, complicated creatures, such as mammals, who have to deal with complicated problems. And the worst of us, like you and me, are born as humans, who are not physically adapted to this world, and thus face the most complex and challenging issues of all.
But the more we advance spiritually, the less we need to learn from the physical realm. And so the most advanced spirits incarnate into the simplest creatures, such as bacteria, which typically have very short life spans and uncomplicated lifestyles. They usually just come here for brief, routine exercise, then quickly get back to their lives on the Other Side.
And that’s why we have so much bacteria on our planet. There are a lot of advanced spirits on the Other Side seeking a little tiny bit of spiritual exercise on This Side. You wouldn’t believe how many. It’s impossible to count them all.
Unfortunately, humans were what I, and all my friends, related to the most on the Other Side. We were in a tiny minority at the very bottom of the spiritual hierarchy. Which, by the way, looks a lot like an inverted pyramid. I once was advanced, but I allowed myself to degenerate badly. And now I was among the lowest of the low. Lower than whale shit, and at the bottom of that upside-down pyramid.