"People talk about the death of 'ego'; ego's gotta die. But the name of the game has nothing to do with killing off your ego and has everything to do with transcending it." With the help of automatic writer, Kimberly Quezada, Paul Walker shares his thoughts, feelings, and words about the human concept of the ego. Paul reminds us that ego is a part of the human being for a reason and when used appropriately, can actually be a compass towards living as a whole and complete person instead of feeling fragmented and incomplete.
Excerpt:
Nice title hey … an ego trip. But now that I grabbed your attention, let’s talk. Ego has been defined through centuries as a power play between good and bad…usually good and evil. It’s one of these words that gets a bad rep because through centuries, different religions and spiritual practices, people have defined it on these terms that are assumed to be one size fits all but really it isn’t. I’ve been thinkin’, you know, that maybe a guy like me could share some of his knowledge about the subject; some kind of information that could maybe allow some people to simmer down and get the hell out of their own way. I thought I’d try anyway.
So, I work with a partner. Let’s call her…Kim. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, read the first book we did. You’ll understand real quick who she is and what we do. Anyway, I work with Kim and sometimes Kim can be a little skittish when I say I’d like to do something or work on something new. New is intimidating. For anyone, new can come completely out of left field and have someone immediately say no because it’s too daunting. Kim, like a lot of people, can feel daunted…is that a word? Well if it isn’t, it is now. So I got this idea to write another book. I can’t do these things by myself. I mean, I could but none of you would be able to read it so I need the help of a human. Kim’s written a couple of books…what’s one more? But…I sort of have to sneak it under the rug that this is what I want to do and if I let her get her feet wet a little…feel it out a little…it’ll happen.
It’s soothing something we like to call the Ego before it spirals out of control. You all got one, whether you want to admit it or not and even in these “spiritual” communities, it tends to spin out of control. So I wanted to do a book but slip the idea to Kim like it was just another look ‘n see into what Paul’s up to. She came by, she sees me loading an old pickup truck with a couple of backpacks. I show her messages in ways she gets and sometimes it needs to be trucks and backpacks. She also sees me call my dog. I got a dog here. She didn’t make it at birth so I grabbed her when I had the chance. I’ve had lots of animals when I lived and I still crave and love that energy. So I got a dog. Yes...there are dogs here that still love to be companions and you want to know something about dogs…animals in general? They live in the moment and in that way, they’re pretty easily understood. Oh…and animals don’t have that ego. My advice…start connecting with your animals. You could learn a thing or two.
So I called her to the truck. Her name’s Bentley. Kim asks where we’re going; me and Bennie. I tell her she’s coming too. She asks again, where are we going? I tell her we’re going on a trip. We need to see some stuff that she can share. I wasn’t lying. I just wasn’t telling her the whole story. She agrees. That was a few weeks ago. I’ve been showing her some pretty far out stuff. Stuff she can feel out and when it’s right for her, she’ll share it. She can’t share it now and there’s a good reason for it.
People aren’t ready.
And people aren’t ready because deep down, they don’t want to be because of the stories they’re used to living or the beliefs from others that they’ve accepted as their own. We’ll get into that. Then, just recently, I said I wanted to write another book. You know what she said?
What?
I answered, I want to write another book.
She held her breath.
So like a lot of people that are being faced with some sort of choice or some sort of…new idea, they can listen to that loud reactive voice that says all the reasons why you shouldn’t but there’s also that voice of truth and reflection that asks why not?
Usually that first voice will win over unless you got me drivin’ a pickup truck through time and space saying,
Before you say anything, just hear me out.
Good thing I have a partner who’s a pretty good listener and has opted to listen to the quieter softer nudges than the hell no’s of the brain…well, most of the time.
Why am I telling you this? Because the hell no’s of the brain are getting louder and louder and the whispers are being drowned out when in reality, they’re actually supposed to start working together. There needs to be more it is what it is and it was what it was instead of so much good/bad, should/shouldn’t, black/white.
That’s the logical.
You know what logic is?
It’s the ego.
Now…don’t get me wrong but this ego is looked at as this big dragon to slay in that it doesn’t have a place in living a spiritual human life; that it’s very bad and needs to be silenced. Even better, it needs to die. But if that’s what you’re thinking or hell bent on believing, you need a logic check. There’s always going to be logic. There’s always going to be emotion and in the middle of all of that will be intuition. Sometimes emotion is a reaction and sometimes logic talks you out of things because there isn’t enough evidence to justify what you want to do or who you want to be. Thing is, people are forgetting about the equilibrium of it is what it is and it was what it was.
Sigmund Freud referred to the ego as this “Sense of I”. It’s the I of life but the I isn’t always that self-centered, look-at-me-because-I’m-all-that-matters attitude. The I is also in that I Am. I am all that is and ever will be…it’s that central sun.
So, with all that being said, I want to go on a trip. Some might come along. Some might think this is all bullshit and that’s cool but I parked my truck back there, deciding to hike this one. You can’t drive this road. I got Bentley, I got she who shall be known as Kim. There’s some boots here for you too. I’m just takin’ a walk. The scenery’s different. It’s not going to be viewed the same as this guy or the guy after that. But what’s a trip without a bunch of people where we don’t always see eye to eye and we want what we want but we can always meet back at that middle ground regardless of any of that.
I’m goin’ ego trippin’ and now that my laces are tied, you might want to do yours a little tighter before you join me. You don’t want loose laces on a hike through this terrain. You might trip up and nothing’s worse than a scraped up knee or elbow. Nothing’s worse than a bruised ego. Now…let’s go.
