Pizza, lager and computer games. Roy is a thirty something disillusioned teacher bored with his mundane daily routine. His only talent in life is his ability to successfully challenge spotty teenage computer gamers and give them a good online thrashing. An opportunity of a life time gives Roy the courage to tell his boss to shove his job where the sun doesn't shine. Thrown into a galactic world of space invaders Roy discovers love, lager and life beyond Uranus! A comedy space romp washed down with curry and pizza.
A full novel of 80,000 words. Some of them aren't rude.
A low, dull thud woke me up. For a few moments I was disoriented trying to remember where I was and how I'd gotten there and then the dream coalesced into reality. As I rubbed my eyes and stretched, there was the sound of a slight hiss and the hatchway slid open. I took off my safety belt and stepped through the hatch into the shuttle. The hatch closed behind me and there was another quiet rumble as the pod detached itself from the shuttle to make its way back to Earth.
The inside of the shuttle was like a small aircraft. There were eight black leather seats on either side of an aisle with windows beside each seat. The interior has been painted white with a white carpet running the length of the isle between the seats. I made a mental note about their obsession with white. As I stared out of the windows I could see the Earth! It looked absolutely fantastic, a blue, green ball with white bits set against the blackness of space. I stood watching the view mesmerized by the beauty of my own planet. This was the most fantastic thing I'd ever seen.
I knew about the moon landings as a child because I had watched documentaries about them. I had seen the shuttle taking off for the first time and the explosions in later years. Even though I knew it was dangerous, as a child I had always wanted to be an astronaut. As I got older I realised that only American and Russians went into space. I then realised that only the very best special test pilots got to fly the shuttles. My dreams were shattered as I became aware of my lack of ability and nationality. And here I was looking back at the Earth and I felt five years old again.