What do you get if you put an incompetent inventor, a warrior woman, a librarian 4th class and a semi-visible pickpocket together. You could try, but you'll find it easier if you just read this book to find out. In truth this is not really the story of a treasure hunt, although there is one on these pages. Nor is it the tale of four incompetent friends blundering from one misadventure into another hopeless situation; although you may be forgiven for thinking so. Oh no, this is a tale about luck. With a lost treasure and a useless map our four adventurers are going to need all the luck they can find. Technically they only want good luck, but they find themselves taking allsorts of the stuff. Set in a world where anything can happen, does and then asks for a refund, you know you're in for a few surprises and a host of laughs.
Her father was the greatest pickpocket ever caught, and some say her mother was the greatest pickpocket ever, but she was never caught. (I would never say anything so slanderous; I really believe she is a nice housewife who constantly received gifts of jewellery and purses of gold from admiring admirers.) After her father caught a terminal case of executioners flu and her mother took over the precedence of the quick fingers guild Samantha Ingrid Elizabeth Gail Elkton, (Siege for short, don’t ever call her Sam or she will explain exactly where her names comes from, which is one of those fates worse then death that I explained about earlier.) was on her own. Even though she was young this didn’t pose any problems. Hundreds of generations of quick finger guild inbreeding had produced an almost magical being in Siege. Without her knowledge, people around her would lose things that would mysteriously turn up in her pockets. If by some chance the person in question suddenly noticed the fifteen silver guineas were missing, she would be the last person questioned. (Sorry that was a bit of a lie. She would never be questioned. It reminds me of the case of Giant Bob’s gold half piece. Bob was in the process of paying his tab at the Swill and Donkey. He had just handed the coin to Guness when it disappeared. Even though they searched us all thoroughly, and I mean rubber glove thorough, they never even looked at her. Not ten minutes later she bought us all a round, from Guness, in front of Bob, using the gold half piece and they never even batted an eyelid.)
These days she is a little more cautious of who she walks too close to. I believe she has turned out quiet beautiful, you know long flowing red hair, stunning body, a smile that would melt a glacier etc. etc. However I find it very difficult to remember what she looks like when I’m not in her presence. Even when I am in her presence I find it hard to look directly at her. I know it sounds strange but it’s like looking at someone through the bottom of your fifth tankard of ale. Truth is it doesn’t matter whether or not I can see her to tell you her part in the story.
It began like all good stories, with the weather! It was what us Clemville locals like to call a perfect day. The wind was gently blowing, (I think you call it a force two gale, but if you can stand upright we call it a gentle breeze), the clouds were kindly spitting a light drizzle and the sun had just set below the smog inversion layer. Siege held her long black coat closed around her as she scurried down the street. (Like everything the rain and wind tended to ignore her. Still she acted like everyone around, just in case someone saw her, which, as I mentioned earlier, was highly unlikely.) She was on an urgent mission. Clemville’s Goth Clock had just rung five times and Lord Fanger’s Bathhouse closed at six. For someone that dirt had trouble seeing, let alone attaching itself to, she spent a lot of time washing. She was the only person, outside of the nobility that had her own indoor shower. But if she didn’t go to Lord Fanger’s at least once a day, she didn’t feel clean.