Roid Rage & Other Stories is an eclectic collection of short stories:
Roid Rage - Humourous
Speak A little louder - Fiction
Boogie Yogie - Sci-Fi
Satisfaction - Fiction
Disraeli's Gambit - Fantasy
Only a fool - Fantasy
Ded head - Horror
Anachronism - Fingers Always Crossed - Sci-Fi
Excerpt from SATISFACTION:
“So you wanna meet for lunch?”
At this point even the sound of his voice irritated her. She made an effort to keep the irritation out of her voice and expression. She watched him in his brown suit as he considerately put the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. God, even his choice of clothes irritated her. Ryan started wiping the counter and asked her again.
He was working on a new building for a very important client and it was the biggest project he had ever had and wanted to do his best. He had planned to work late and as he had been doing for the last week and knew he would be late home and it would be a quick supper then strait to his home office. He wanted to have lunch with his wife.
“Hello? Earth to Mars-got. Babe are you listening? Lunch?” His rather lame joke fell on deaf ears.
Margot was now mentally going through his closet and pointing out all of his clothes which she did not like, even some of the stuff that she had picked out and bought for him.
“Margot. Margot. Hello!”
“Oh ah sorry I kinda spaced out. What did you say?”
“I said do you wanna meet for lunch later?”
“Ah. Okay. But let me call you. If I'm busy I’ll just have a sandwich at my desk if I’m free we can go out?”
“Okay. I guess.” Ryan said failing to keep the disappointment completely out of his voice.
He hated the way she always said yes then said… but. Why didn’t she just say maybe?
On her way to work Margot went to the family planning free clinic she passed every day. She had read a motivational article on the internet which prescribed trying something new regularly to combat the ennui of routine. Margot had decided to see what this place was about. She was on the pill and as she had been thinking of changing her birth control. She could get some info about maybe getting off the pill. Maybe a baby would be nice. Raising a whole other person with his or her own eccentricities. She would like a boy Margot thought as she sat down in the crowded sitting room.
There were a lot of women in the room. There were two couples. She wondered what Ryan would have thought about coming here? She always fancied him to be a bit of a prude and a bit stuck up. They had been married for two and a half years and talked about having children at least five years into their marriage.
“Ryan could never handle hearing about birth control it would be too much of a shock for his cultured mind.” Margot thought mean spiritedly. Then she felt bad for thinking such a thing about him. Ryan was a lot of things but a stupid chauvinistic snob was not one of them.
When she met Ryan he had seemed a regular guy good for dating for a while. He was good looking, kind and successful as an architect and made a good living. She also did well as a graphic designer. They had clicked. Two hardworking people trying to make their way in the world.
When he had taken her home to meet his family for their first Christmas holiday together it, unbeknownst to him, changed their relationship. Ryan came from money. Serious money. She felt inadequate. His family was frighteningly elegant and expensive. They were privileged, had travelled the world, had all the extras.
For all that Ryan's parents were sweet down-to-earth people who had made sure that they raised their children that way. Despite this she felt intimidated and out of place. She made an effort to become “one of them”. When she got married to Ryan she did feel like the cat that had gotten the cream and a whole herd of cows with overflowing udders. She dropped any old contacts she felt did not match her new station in life. She used her new name and influence to get a job in her field at one of the best firms. She had always been a beauty but with the extra money she became an über-glamazon. She didn’t realise that she had becoming the very snob she had just accused Ryan of being.
There was a sudden scream. Everyone looked at a woman who was sitting with her two children. One of the kids had spilt juice on the lady who was sitting next to her. And quite a commotion had started. The woman whose clothes had been stained stood up. Purple juice had been spilled on her white skirt. The woman had a pleather Birkin. Margot laughed inwardly as she thought that it was the type of crappy outfit that not even the purple stain could make took uglier than it already was. She tore up the form she had been given to fill in and walked out of the clinic. This was not a place for someone like her to be seen in. She had tried her “different thing” for the day.
As she walked to her office she passed the lounge room where they had coffee and hung out and brainstormed. She could have simply had some delivered to her office but she thought it wisest to spend as much time as possible with the creative team. Money or no she enjoyed her job and didn't want to lose her edge. Also there was a new guy, Mark. Mark was just edible. They flirted a lot. Only when alone. They had kissed a couple of times. When lunch rolled by she called Ryan told him she was swamped and went to have some chilli with Ryan and a couple of others.
Whilst at the restaurant she went to the ladies room. It was not their first time coming to this restaurant. There was a waiter there she had a bit of a ‘harmless’ flirtation going with. His name was Andrew. He seemed like a sleazy womaniser and she could see it clearly. But it added to the excitement of it all. On the way to the ladies you had to pass a corridor that could not be seen from the tables and there she bumped into him. On an impulse she grabbed him and began making out with him. But it was short lived and she couldn't bring herself to prolong the kiss. He tasted heavily of garlic and something else she couldn't place. He hadn’t tasted good, she regretted the impulsive kiss because it put her off her delicious lunch, she just couldn’t finish her meal when she got back to her table. That funky tasting kiss put a damper on the rest of her day. To make matters worse some ingredient in her lunch was making her gassy.
The gas was bad. She would relive herself in her private bathroom but it would keep building up again. She had some activated charcoal at home so she decided to work the rest of the day from home..
Margot decided to relax with a box of matches and a couple of scented candles and catch up on her favourite shows when she got home. By the time she was ready to go to
bed Ryan was too. They went to bed as usual. He tried to initiate sex but she couldn’t trust her anuses retaining power tonight. She brushed him off by mumbling about it being a long day.
They settled into their huge comfy bed. Then suddenly Margot felt a pain in her side. Perfect. The gas still wasn't finished. She had spent the rest of the day in her office and had even avoided Mark. She didn't want to fart in the bed with Ryan there to hear and smell all. She tried to lie back and ignore it but it was just too uncomfortable. The gas wanted out.
