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What To Do If Trapped In a Lift With a Dentist Marcus Freestone

What To Do If Trapped In a Lift With a Dentist
By Marcus Freestone

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Book Synopsis

A free ebook of poems about rotating vicars, rabbits, car boot sales, horsemeat, cloning and, of course, dentists.


A dead robin in a sock, a relaxation CD
that appears to be voiced by Ian Paisley
A pair of trainers pickled in bree
A vague sense of inadequacy
A perambulating hamster nailed to the knee
of a disgruntled member of a select committee
A piano where every single key
has been replaced by a rotting flea
A rotating vicar nailed to a tree
A swarm of traffic wardens exploding with glee
The bill for Elton John's latest spending spree
Some feces in a hammock I think you will agree
You wouldn't want these presents and neither would me


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