A free ebook of poems about rotating vicars, rabbits, car boot sales, horsemeat, cloning and, of course, dentists.
10 THINGS YOU WOULDN'T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
A dead robin in a sock, a relaxation CD
that appears to be voiced by Ian Paisley
A pair of trainers pickled in bree
A vague sense of inadequacy
A perambulating hamster nailed to the knee
of a disgruntled member of a select committee
A piano where every single key
has been replaced by a rotting flea
A rotating vicar nailed to a tree
A swarm of traffic wardens exploding with glee
The bill for Elton John's latest spending spree
Some feces in a hammock I think you will agree
You wouldn't want these presents and neither would me
THE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO RELIGION
Old and wrong ideas, superstitious fears
killing in the name all gods are the same
none of them exist just ghosts in the mist
that fall across a mind and say that death is kind
'they're in a better place'? Come say that to my face
Empirically you're wrong, another empty song
it's gone on for too long no faith can be that strong
god's boot stamps on your face yet still there is no trace
of doubt within your heart that you still stand apart
from those who don't believe and those who don't receive
god's guidance and love and all those myths from up above
Just wake up and see, it's wrong logically
you are just like me, a random entity
we're just byproducts of chemistry
Impersonal laws, no purpose here
but this is not a cause for fear
we're all free to decide
our own will so choose with pride
choosing gives you life you see
don't abdicate responsibility
there's no need to subjugate
your freewill or live by fate
wake up and define yourself
seize your essence live your life
JUST LOOK UP
Sometimes at night I look up to the sky
the infinity of stars makes me want to cry
not from unhappiness but out of sheer awe
at the sense of infinity the sky is big, for sure.
Some of those distant lights are bigger than our Earth
yet still people think there's something special in their birth
that they are so important when they are patently not
cos even our whole planet is a dot upon a dot
An infinity of space-time should give us pause for thought
and make us quick to question the huge arrogance we're taught
so look up at the night sky and just take in the view
there's nothing special about me and nothing special about you
But that's not a cause for heartache cos we're here and it is now
so let's crack on with living
before we take our final bow
