There are lots of men in the world. Some are more delightful than others, but most will be very happy if only you’d notice them. Men are neither monsters nor simpletons; they are, like us, a mix of the good, the bad, and the indifferent.
Men pretty much want the same things women want. They mainly want someone to give a damn about them. Men are human beings first and men second. This means that men also have feelings, hopes, fears, dreams and desires.
Men regard women as both the most fascinating and the most exasperating people on the planet. To men, women get upset at the silliest of things and women wonder why they haven’t strangled such unthinking persons yet.
This slender book is an effort at a kind of reapproachment between the genders in the hope that more women will have more fun and more men will remain unstrangled.
There are several varieties of relationships available. You can choose between open or closed, serious or not serious or the ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement that is currently popular. Which ever you choose, he must agree with it or the relationship is over before it has begun. If he wants something different and negotiation is not possible, then just say goodbye.
Within a relationship, of any kind, fair is fair and effective communication is key. This means if you want him to do this, you had better be prepared to do that. Talk with him not at him. Listen to him without looking for hidden meanings or defensively filtering his message. The ‘silent treatment’ and the ‘using sex as a reward’ treatment are childish games. Any use of them immediately diminishes your credibility.
Whatever your past has been, focus upon this man, right here, right now. He should not have to pay for others’ past crimes. No ‘past thinking’. He is not solely responsible for the future of this relationship. No ‘future thinking’. All relationships are a team effort. If you cannot talk about the issue sensibly as an adult, either it wasn’t important, so you drop it, or you are too close to it and need more time to think it through. There is no such thing as ‘making up’, there are only problems solved.
Do not demand exclusivity unless you are prepared to marry him right then and there. While you are dating, you have only those rights over him that he chooses to give you. You cannot make demands, other than condom usage and respectful treatment, and be thought of as an adult. You do not own him. You do own yourself so take control of your life – be a whole person with a wonderful life before you go seeking someone to share it with you. This is what you must do if you wish to have any credibility at all and not just with men.
Also by the author: The Altar Chase and WOMEN