My reason for writing this book is my being tired of watching men self destruct when it comes to women. I have a great deal of sympathy for men but, really, the elementary mistakes you fellows make with women are enough to make one weep. Disrespect, insults, taunts - they get you nowhere. Stop trying to get noticed by doing the wrong things. Stop being metro-sexual. Be neat, clean, presentable and yet male to the core. Go to where the type of woman you want hangs out, mingle, talk to women without immediate expectations, get her name and number, avoid making promises, do not suck up to her - just relax. If she wants you, she will let you know. If you don't go, you won't get.
There are lots of women in this world. All of them are potentially interested in you. We are neither goddesses to be worshipped nor members of some alien species to be feared. We are people much like yourselves – good, bad, and indifferent in a marvelous mix unique to each individual.
Women have, however, been educated differently than you have. Women tend to regard men as potentially hostile and untrustworthy idiots. Women are often seen as ‘prey’ to some men and this tends to influence their thoughts and behaviors. Just imagine how irritated you would be if unsuitable men kept pestering you. If she says “No”’ then, dammit, she means “No”! She does not mean “Maybe”, or “Next week”. If she changes her mind later, that is her business and the message has to come directly from her. She’ll let you know. Women have also been regarded as beautiful idiots by some men so when men presume to tell someone they have never met ‘what she needs’, well, the resulting conversation is not going to go well.
When preparing to date, a man usually does not have to wonder if he’ll end up dead in a ditch somewhere. Women do. She may look and act all big, bad, and bold; but she knows the risks are very real. Your first mission is to learn that while you are out for a good time – she’s out to make it home alive and in one piece. Having a good time would be, for her, perhaps too much to hope for. All she is hoping is that it will not be a bad time. You have to be non-threatening to her from the outset. The bigger you are, relative to her, the more you’re going to have to work at it. Be calm, cool, collected, and have excellent manners without being at all shy, indecisive, or timid.
We do not like shy, timid, indecisive men. How can we rely upon you if you are any of those? Even the most independent woman wants to know her man is capable of being there for her should she need him. If she asks you to order her food for her, do so after asking if there’s anything she cannot eat. The answer to “What do you want to do? is never “I don’t know”. If you’re at a loss, pick up some take out, drive to someplace nice and have a moonlight picnic. Do anything but say “I don’t know”.
Be prepared to talk and to listen. Watch her body language. Maintain eye contact and smile. Stay close without looming over her. Do not touch her until she touches you. Ask for her name and number and/or email address but do not make any promises you are not prepared to keep – ever. Remember that you are being trustworthy.
You will notice that I have omitted admonitions to get fit and dress well. Some women do care about your appearance, of course, but most will be more than happy to take you as you are as long as you are clean and cute. I, myself, have a special fondness for tall, furry, somewhat rounded men in their 40’s and by tall I mean taller than me when I’m not wearing high heels. Most women have just such a secret preference when it comes to men. This preference comes out instantly and it acts like a magnet.
Also by the author: The Altar Chase and MEN