Gathered together here for your interest and elucidation is a collection of my cynical thoughts, quips, asides, notes, remarks, observations about Life, the Universe, and (Almost) Everything.
Legal and Health Warnings About This Book: Cynicism may contravene some international treaty provisions or national or state laws. In some jurisdictions, cynicism aimed at other people is still rightly considered a capital offence. Seek legal advice before using.
Cynicism can be injurious to your health and may lead to serious injury to the user if mis-used. Cynicism should only be performed when wearing the correct protective clothing and under the supervision of an appropriately trained professional.
May contain nuts.
Now that you have read this far, you might as well download and read the book . . .
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NOTE: The author accepts no responsibility for the use or misuse of the cynicisms in this book. If you get into trouble using them it's your own fault.
Actually, I only want you to download the book to increase my count of downloads to make me feel good and to impress the good people at Obooko, so there. Go on, download it anyway. You are so kind and thoughtful!
Cynicism is hard work. But it’s worth every minute of it to keep up the good work.
The worst part of life is what happens at the very end. We get the last laugh, but don’t stay around long enough to enjoy it.
I’ve decided to stop being cynical all the time. I’ll only be cynical on days without a ‘c’ in them.
He’s not clumsy. He’s ambi-sinistral – He’s got two left feet!
A cynic accused of knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing, might respond
“What’s the use of knowing the value of something if you can’t afford the price?”
Inside every conformist is a weeping cynic.
When someone tries to be a wit, most often they succeed only in being half of one.
Some people are really great. They provide so many wonderful, worthwhile opportunities for being a cynic.